We Salute You, Mr. Talks on the Cell Phone in the Bathroom Man
“Oh Hi. Welcome. Why don’t you take a seat. No, no. I’m good. You? That’s great. I suppose you’re wondering why I asked you here. Well…we need to talk. No, nothing serious…well at least not life-threatening. But, well, you have a problem and I wanted to talk to you before it got worse. Basically, well, …STOP TALKING ON THE CELL PHONE IN THE FREAKIN’ BATHROOM!”
Ok, I’m serious, when did it become socially acceptable to talk on the phone while in the bathroom? I get it, cell phones are useful and by design, portable. But really, is something so important that you have to take the conversation into the bathroom? No, I really can’t think of something so important that it can’t wait until you’ve done your thing and exited the restroom.
Now let’s examine the MANY things that are wrong with cell phones in the restroom:
1) Bathrooms echo. Did you realize this? This means that every single word you say is heard by everyone else, in stereo.
2) I don’t really care what you and your girlfriend are doing tonight or that you’ve closed that business deal. Really. It’s your business. Not mine. I don’t want to hear it.
3) Did I mention that bathrooms echo?
4) Other people USE your phone. Yep, I’m guessing somebody else at some point uses your phone. Would you give them your used toilet paper? Nope, didn’t think so. Don’t give them you nasty bathroom phone.
5) And I’m looking out for you here, Mr. Uses the cell phone in the restroom while talking loudly man, the likelihood of you dropping your cell phone in the toilet increases exponentially if you’re using it. Really. You could lose it…or have to fish it out of the toilet…which may be a fate worse than death.
So please, do the world a favor and end the conversation before you enter. Don’t worry, you can call them back when you’re done. I’m sure they’ll wait.
Oh, and I’m warning you now, if I’m in the bathroom and I hear you on the phone, I will make EVERY effort to flush the toilet every 10 seconds or so so as to alert the person you’re talking to that you don’t respect them enough to keep the conversation out of the restroom!
“What’s that…you see the error of your ways and will never do that again. Great! I’m so glad we’ve had this talk.”
Sleep 5-7-5
So tired right now.
Oh look, I am cranky too.
Sleep is still far off.
The Free Drink Carrot
Ok, so I’m ready to admit it. I have a fat wallet. There, I’ve said it. The elephant’s out of the room.
It’s true though. I’ve always had a fat wallet. In fact, I carry it in my front pocket because it’s like sitting on a huge rock if it’s in my back pocket. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of sitting on rocks. Just a personal preference.
Every so often, I go through my wallet and try to thin it out. And every single time, I struggle when I get to my frequency cards. You know, those little punch cards that everybody and their brother hands out. I’ve got one for each of the six different coffee shops I visit plus a few other random ones. They’re all in varying states of completeness: some are tantalizing close to a free drink, others are 10 more purchases away.
So here’s the problem….I can’t figure out which ones to get rid of. I have to keep the one to the place I visit most often and I can get rid of the couple from the places I don’t frequent often. That makes sense. Right? Well yeah, except the law of the universe will dictate that I don’t visit my favorite place for the next three weeks and I’ll end going to the place I haven’t been to in a year multiple times next week. Arghh. So in the end, they all go back into my wallet and the fat wallet returns.
How about you? Are you tempted by the free drink carrot at the end of a full punch card?
Wasting Time Is Not Actually Wasting Time
So, my fantastic landlord decided it was a good idea to show my place at 7:00pm tonight. Really!? I know you need to show people, but…seriously?! And today of all day’s I’m all kinds of crazy tired. So all I want to do is go home, sit on my couch, and fall asleep. Sigh. So I got out of work at 5:00…now what do I do with myself?
Well, here I am, 2 hours later. And what have I learned:
1) You can only go to Best Buy so many times in a week before it no longer holds any sort of enjoyment. Cap it at 2 times a week. Max. I’m warning you.
2) Kohls has AWESOME bathrooms. I’m serious. Kohls has some of the nicest public bathrooms I’ve been privy to use outside of fancy schmancy restuarants.
3) The back of a bookstore in the mall is a nice quite place to escape the screaming children and overall craziness of the mall.
4) The mall’s not that interesting when you don’t have any intention of spending money…mainly becuase you don’t have any.
5) Auntie Aune’s Pretzels are crazy delicious.
So there you go. Now…t-minus 30 minutes until my butt makes contact with my couch.
Argghh!! Design Block!
Talk about frustrating. I’ve been working on trying to come up with a design for a web page all weekend and I’m coming up with absolutely bupkis. Seriously…talk about your major case of design block.
It’s frustrating because I have this image in my head of what I want it to look like…meaning I’ll know it when I see it. Unfortunately, that image in my head is all fuzzy and I can’t seem to bring it into focus.
And now I don’t know what I should do. Do I quit and just let it swim around in my head for a while? Do I keep pounding away at it until I can figure it out?
Grr…maybe more coffee will help. Yes coffee…mmm…sweet delicious coffee.
Long Time No See
Hey Blog!
Long time no see. I know, I know. Please dont’ be cross. I told you I’d be away for a while. Wait…what’s that? You were bored and all your friends stopped coming by because there was nothing new to read?! Egads. That’s no good.
Ok, how’s about I make it up to you by promising to post at least once a day for a week. How’s that? Is that a smile I see? I knew you’d like that. Ok, then it’s a deal.
Now that we’re friends again, let’s go get some ice cream. It’s flippin’ hot outside.
Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
Life's Work / Work Life
Here I am: sitting on a huge porch with a nice breeze overlooking gorgeous Lake Michigan. AND it’s the 4th of July. I should be relaxing and completely enjoying the scene. But I can’t. I have some freelance work to do and I’m behind and I feel like I should be working on that.
Since when in America did it become unacceptable to enjoy a vacation or put work on hold so as to enjoy once in a lifetime experiences and vacations? I don’t know. Maybe it’s always been this way. Maybe now, as I move further into adulthood this is a life lesson that I must learn. Either way, I need to make a choice. Do I bow to the pressure and sit here on this proch and half-heartedly do work all the while wishing I could just go swimming in the lake? Or do I enjoy my vacation knowing that the work will be there when I get back and I’ll just have to push myself a little harder to get it done?
Good question. However, today…today I’m choosing vacation. There’s a lot to enjoy in life and you never know when it’s going to come around again. I’m heading to the beach. I hope you’ll do the same. The work can wait. I’ll see you on Monday.